Yearning

My soul yearns for adventure
and places unseen
I know they are out there
waiting for me
Perhaps a star filled night
painting streaks of light
Inviting me to join them
’til they fall out of sight
Canyons colored like the foliage
of a crisp October morn
Spanning the length of the horizon
where true freedom is born
Prairies whispering sweet music
as they dance in the wind
I’ll throw them my burdens
I’ll stand tall again
Maybe I’ll make my way
to the northern lights
Soak it all in
until I can shine that bright
Or shiver in the fresh snow
atop a mountains peak
Closer to God
finding the answers I seek
Maybe I will laugh until I cry
as I find new love
Wrap her hand in mine
and give thanks above
My soul yearns for adventure
and places unseen
I know they are out there
waiting for me

~

Jessica Caudle

06/20/16

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Tranquil Battle

I am fighting a battle on the most tranquil ground

cautious of the mines as I lead you around

How could I ever begin to help you see

the path of destruction that lies underneath?

It is difficult to describe this faceless villain

no pathology to indict for these unwieldy feelings

Perhaps I’d find comfort if that weren’t so

These scars wouldn’t be as shameful with something to show

So I smile through the ache of another day

and fight like hell to simply stay

It isn’t that I can’t find beauty all around

I see it in little things like leaves on the ground

It shines bright in the embrace of weathered hands

that have longed for a simple touch through life’s demands

I hear it in the voice of innocent children

their spirits full of wonder and magical visions

Beauty is everywhere to be felt and to be seen

It is only on the inside that I feel so unclean

If only this villain would just let me be

I can fool everyone else, why can’t I fool me?

 

Jessica Caudle

December 2, 2015

 

Inspired by a conversation that I had with a beautiful woman that I admire very much.  It is no secret that there are many stigmas associated with mental illness.  According to the Center for Disease Control, “only 25% of people with mental health issues feel that other people are compassionate and/or sympathetic toward them.”  It is a shameful statistic when one in four people have been touched by some form of mental illness.

In an effort to re-frame the conversation, artist Robot Hugs created a comic that displays what it would be like if we discussed physical illnesses in the same way we do mental illnesses. Take a look at the graphic below.

o-ROBOT-HUGS-570

 

Angel-versary – May 9, 1990

Though this day left an empty space

In this world and in our hearts

You entered into our father’s arms

Somewhere . . . Miles apart

I smile as I imagine

How beautiful that must have been

You standing before the Almighty

Free from this earthly sin

I think about you daily

Wonder what it’s like where you are

Sometimes I feel your presence

Just as the moon accompanies the stars

This earth did not stop spinning

Even though it felt like it had

So many things have happened

I sure miss you Dad

I hope you are proud

Of the woman I am today

You remain in my heart

Always there to stay

I carry you with me always

In everything that I do

And your beautiful grandson

He knows you too

Cast a line for us

Into that heavenly water

And smile that beautiful smile

Always . . . Your daughter

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Rainbow

I know you feel like you don’t belong

And the world it spins too fast

You long to be understood

And pray for joy to last

I know some days seem impossible

And the weight too much to bare

But precious soul just look around

A jewel like you is rare

If I could shine your true reflection

In a mirror back at you

The noise would finally diminish

And the colors would come bursting through

The fog that grips your mind

Would have to slip away

For it couldn’t withstand your beauty

Far too bright for it to stay

Lift your eyes to your creator

The one who makes no mistakes

Trust you have a purpose here

And fight for it every day

~ Jess

The Sound of Silence

I wrote your name on that path

among far too many others

Mothers, daughters, sisters

fathers, sons and brothers

Overwhelming is an understatement

knowing why they are all there

Beautiful lives gone far too soon

It is almost too much to bear

Loved ones gathered around

in hopes to fill that common hole

and bridge the gap of silence

that hides the suffering soul

There is no way to really know

what was going through your minds

as you gained your angel wings

leaving us behind

What we wouldn’t give

for just one more day

So many things we could do

So many things left to say

My life is brighter because of you

even through the grief and pain

I wouldn’t have missed a single moment

only wish we could have walked you through the rain

The things your mind must have said

couldn’t have been more wrong

Otherwise you would still be here

dancing through life’s song

This is why we gather

even through the tears

In hopes we can stop another

by helping them through their fears

Battles are won in numbers

never meant to be fought alone

If you or someone you know is struggling

Please… please pick up the phone

1-(800) 273-Talk (8255)

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

http://www.afsp.org

“Every 16 minutes someone in the United States dies by suicide.  Every 17 minutes someone is left to make sense of it.”

Imagine Yourself There

Did you notice her there

You know the one, with her hand me down clothes and size too small shoes

Fractured eyes searching for clues

Did you ignore her very existence or constantly remind her of it

You think she is not aware?  She knows…

Imagine yourself there

What about the man on the corner holding his sign

You pass him daily always avoiding his eyes

You think he likes being there?  Oh wait… why should you care?

You continue on with your extra dime

when maybe all he would like is a second of your time

Imagine yourself there

What about the last one left standing when all others have been chose

The one who no matter the effort given always finishes last

Always a second late or a minute slower

Do you disregard them like trash?

Imagine yourself there

You must be unaware how hard the try

They try to catch up to you and I

They think we are the blessed ones

But you are too busy to even notice

Yes, I know, you have a life too with struggles of its own

But some will be lost because of the love you’ve never shown

When you have a second to spare

Imagine yourself there

If your shoes fit, be thankful

When you lay your head down in your safe bed at night

And don’t feel the cold breeze from the ground, be thankful

You see, maybe your kindness will be enough

to carry them through another day

Another miserable moment graced with a bit of light

A simple smile and less stress can make a person feel less worthless

Laugh if you must, it may sound silly to you

But for the indifferent it rings very true

They are not laughing

Imagine yourself there

That girl who sits alone bares far deeper hurts than her cramped feet

Maybe the warmth of you next to her would melt the ice

Around her heart and once again she could feel it beat

If you are surrounded by many or are part of a “click

Consider yourself lucky… for being alone is anything but grand

Especially as you sit alone watching others from the stands

Can you see your surroundings or hear your child’s cry

Try not to underestimate its value

Maybe we are the ones that are blind

It could very easily be us struggling to try

Can you plan a trip without having to accommodate your handicap

Or leap from your bed freely after your nap

When you speak do your words come easy without a struggle

Because many stand embarrassed trying to explain with a stutter

Be kind and give thanks

Imagine yourself there

We do not walk in others shoes

Nor do we know the stories they carry

So please remember that before you are so quick to judge

For you see

The beautiful ones are not you and me